Chelsea Alexandra
There is a quote from Robert Evans that says, “There are three sides to every story: your side, my side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each differently.” A beautiful thing about life is that everyone experiences things differently, even if we share an experience. Two siblings could go to an amusement park together and remember the experience completely differently. One could remember the day as the best day of their life while the other remembers all the roadblocks and minor inconveniences. It can make any relationship feel scary. There is a lingering feeling of never knowing what the other person is thinking. You could be so blinded by love that you believe everything is perfect, meanwhile, your partner has already exited the relationship. A couple can sit at a bar all smiles and remember the day completely differently. It is this theme exploration that has always drawn me to Marc Webb’s (500) Days of Summer.
Immediately, the narrator explains this is not a love story. However, it isn’t a story of failed love. It is a story about how two truths can be valid, sometimes there is no clear right or wrong.
(500) Days of Summer tells the story of Tom Hansen (played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt), a greeting card writer and aspiring architect, as he navigates the ups and downs of his 500-day relationship with Summer Finn (played by Zooey Deschanel). When we first meet Tom, he is reeling from his break up with Summer which to him feels like the end of the world. Starting at this moment puts an expiration date on their relationship immediately, something that the audience is already bracing themselves for. The story of their fleeting romance is told in a non-linear format, flashing back and forth between good days and bad days to paint a picture of their relationship as seen through Tom’s eyes. All of the events are told from Tom’s perspective. However, between body language and verbal queues, we can see how invested Summer Finn is in their relationship.
For years I have debated with myself who was right and who was wrong, was Tom the victim, or was Summer innocent? The first time I watched this film was in high school and every rewatch I would waver back and forth. There were moments when I could relate to Tom Hason a little too much and be on his side. Then there were moments when I understood Summer and saw her side of things a little clearer than I did the time before. Now in my thirties and have lived some life, there was never a right or wrong.
500 Days of Summer masterfully explores the idea that two individuals can experience the same events differently. This would lead to multiple “truths” within a relationship. This concept is woven throughout the film and is central to understanding the dynamics between Tom and Summer. The moment that Tom meets Summer, he creates a romanticized version of who she is in his mind. When they meet in the elevator, at first Tom does not pay her any mind. However, once Summer mentions she also “loves The Smiths”, Tom falls madly in love with her. He sees this small moment as the beginning of a deep connection between him and Summer. It is unclear how Summer truly viewed that moment for we only know Tom’s perspective, however, it is safe to assume she was merely making small talk. She did not see it as fate.
The film starts with the aftermath of Tom and Summer’s break-up. We are thrown into immediately how Tom views his break-up with Summer. However, once the film meets back up to current day, we see how the break-up came to be. For Tom, it was sudden. From his point of view, their relationship was perfect in every way. He still romanticized Summer and their deep connection to each other. Meanwhile, over time, it was the natural progression of their relationship according to Summer. Summer was never entirely in with Tom and when she was she knew that there would someday be an expiration date. There was never any malice and her feelings for Tom were true but her experience with their relationship was completely different. Although less explored directly, Summer’s truth is markedly different. She expresses she doesn’t believe in love in the conventional sense and is not looking for a serious relationship. Summer’s actions align with her truth, even if they conflict with Tom’s perceptions. Where Tom feels betrayed, Summer feels as if she is honest and upfront with her intentions.
Expectations are a kind of “made-up truth” that we create in our minds to make sense of the world, plan for the future, or give ourselves hope. However, these expectations often don’t align with reality, which exists independently of our desires, thoughts, or beliefs. Expectations are shaped by what we want to happen, often prioritizing our needs, dreams, and fantasies over what is realistic. Expectations often rely on assumptions about other people’s feelings, actions, or intentions. These assumptions are based on our interpretations, not their realities. The difference between what we want to happen and what happens can feel jarring. As much as expectations can give us hope, it can be the root of pain. Throughout the film, we see Tom setting his expectations for himself and Summer. His expectations for their relationship oftentimes butt heads with the reality of their relationship due to Tom’s truth, believing that they are fated to be with each other.
In a very poignant moment of the film, post-breakup, Tom is invited to a party hosted by Summer. Once Tom arrives at the party, the scene is presented using a split-screen format, showing “Expectations” on one side and “Reality” on the other. The scene highlights the stark contrast between Tom’s hopeful yet high expectations and the actual outcome of being at the party. His expectations are warm with a desire to rekindle his connection with Summer. In his mind, he spends the entire party with Summer. The reality is much different. Summer is cordial but distant, and the atmosphere is far from intimate. The ultimate blow comes when Tom realizes that Summer is engaged to someone else. This contrast highlights the human tendency to project desires and hopes onto situations, often ignoring the more sobering truths. Tom’s expectations are fueled by his romantic idealism, believing that love will unfold like a perfect story. However, reality dismantles these illusions, showing that relationships are complex and cannot be controlled by one’s desires alone.
The scene marks a crucial turning point in Tom’s journey. Leading up to this moment, Tom is deeply engrossed in his idealized version of Summer and their relationship. The scene is structured to contrast his internal expectations with the external reality, propelling Tom towards a deeper understanding of his emotional state and the nature of his relationship with Summer. Tom’s belief in the possibility of rekindling their relationship is shattered, leading to a painful but necessary confrontation with the truth. They were not getting back together. Once Tom notices Summer’s engagement ring, he feels betrayed because of the expectations he built in his mind and what his truth has always been. However, Summer never misled Tom. Early in their relationship, she explicitly stated that she didn’t want anything serious. Summer didn’t believe in the kind of love Tom idealized. In this scene, she remains true to her consistent honesty. Her engagement is not an attempt to hurt Tom but simply a reflection of the path she has chosen. She has found someone who has changed her perspective. Her truth here is that she is capable of growth and of finding the kind of connection she previously dismissed. Although this may hurt Tom, this is Summer’s truth.
A part of growing up is realizing multiple truths can be true. (500) Days of Summer had gotten me through some hard heartbreaks where sometimes I was Tom. I was someone who would romanticize a relationship whereas that was only my point of view. There were times when I would set high expectations in my mind of what could be and when reality sinks in, it is like a knife to the heart. Then there are times when I am the Summer in my version of the story. Someone who knows that there is a beginning, a middle, and an eventual end. And knowing that it doesn’t mean I am a bad person, it is just my version of the truth. The story of Tom and Summer is a polarizing one, one that even knowing that there are multiple truths you can’t help but see one as the bad guy and one as the victim. That is okay too, that is just your truth. (500) Days of Summer shows that multiple truths can exist: there is sometimes no right or wrong, good or bad. My truth and your truth can coexist.
