Tina Kakadelis
I’m the Most Racist Person I Know had its world premiere at the 2025 SXSW Film & TV Festival as part of the Narrative Short Competition.The short film, written and directed by Leela Varghese, centers on Lali (Shabana Azeez) awkwardly asking out the girl she has a crush on. It’s not going well and, in a kind attempt to make it less uncomfortable, Ana (Kavintha Anandasivam) says she’ll go out with her. What follows is a sweet, awkward date where the two talk about everything from past relationships to their feelings about their identities as women of color. The cast and crew, including producer Suriyna Sivashanker, sat down with Film Obsessive News Editor Tina Kakadelis to discuss the film’s inception, the mayhem of a two day shoot, and the worst parts of modern dating.
Film Obsessive: I’d like to start with Leela and ask about where the concept came from, then ask everyone how they got involved.
Leela Varghese: It’s always a panic with this question. The film is about Lila, who sets out to get a girl who’s a bartender who happens to be white. White girls tend to be her type, and she idolizes white women. She gets very embarrassingly rejected and ends up offered up a pity date by Ana – the name of that character is actually never said in the movie.
It was just about wanting to explore biases when it comes to dating, and particularly interesting biases within people of color. It’s such a strange thing to look at yourself when you’re someone who isn’t white, and I discovered that I felt like I had problematic outlooks on dating that I’ve consciously had to undo.
Shabana Azeez: We’re all from Adelaide and there’s like seven people in Adelaide, so Leela had no choice. I feel like she needed two brown ones and she got us (laughs). We all worked together before. Leela and I have worked together a bunch. Kavintha and I worked together. We played sisters in our first gig.
Kavintha Anandasivam: Exactly what you said. Leela just reached out to us and she was like, you’re the only brown people I know, please be in my film. I was like, yeah, awesome.
Leela: I also think, as a filmmaker, I know how hard it is to find amazing actors. I very strategically like to make something when I know actors who can be in the product. These two are amazing in everything they’re in. I always like to think with actors in mind a little bit when I’m putting something together.
Suriyna Sivashanker: This is the first time I produced a short. Leela and I have been friends for a while, so she just asked me, would you help out? Will you apply for funding for this?
Actually, no she did beg (laughs). She had a really good script, so I couldn’t pass up on trying to help. I wanted to be part of something that was highlighting brown women of color and, not only that, but queer women of color as well. So I was just like, yeah, I think this needs to be in the world, you know?
You all made this short in an increasingly difficult time for things to be made. Especially when you’re talking about queer people of color. What was that like on the production end?
Suriyna: One of the main reasons Leela did approach me is because I am a woman of color, if the name didn’t give that away (laughs). I think that was probably the main reason she approached me because I think the sensitivity of that is so important, especially with the content.
If we had done it with a white lens, we would have a different product. Look, I hate doing that thing where it’s just highlighting our differences and stuff, but there are actually nuances to that. We all come with our different perspectives and bring different things, even on the background side with producing. It’s been a great experience to see that, oh, my cultural background actually is really important to a project like this and does elevate it to another level that gives it more reach, or elevates Leela’s voice in a way that maybe, if we had a different production team, it might not have been.
Leela: I just have to say that Suriyna is the most amazing producer. It’s your first time producing and you’re absolutely smashing it. You are so good at it. I think the other amazing thing about you as a producer is that I think you just get the emotional side of all the conflicts and struggles. I think on a very practical level, you absolutely smashed it, but then on an emotional side, I don’t know if I’ve actually given you enough credit for how amazing you are.
Erin, who’s not here, but who’s in the film, was also in your short film Crush with Shabana. Do you feel like this is a continuation of Crush in a way?
Leela: Well, actually weirdly, if anyone has seen Crush, I would say yes. I feel like it’s a weird callback for those who have seen it, and then I think it dives into something deeper. The idea was to show an evolution as a storyteller.
I think you (Shabana) and Erin, you were joking around about how we need to just keep playing with this Shabana/Erin plot line. Maybe in another movie, you reject her. Do you remember this?
Shabana: I have no recollection of this at all, but it would be so funny. Flip it and I’m the one rejecting Erin. I do also have this thing though, where I only play characters who just can’t get girls. Now in The Pitt, I can’t get boys. I’ve never played a character who’s had any rizz or any capacity to get laid.
I mean, you’ve got someone in Birdeater, but things are rough for you in that one.
Shabana: It’s really rough (laughs). Nobody ever wants me to play a character who’s cool or doing okay. I think if we did do another one with Erin and I rejected her, I think my brain would explode.
Leela: I love the challenge. I gotta write you a character who’s so cool. Coolest spy you’ve ever seen, and she gets men and women.
The film is mostly a two-hander between Shabana and Kavintha and you’re both coming from ensemble-driven, busy shows. What was it like to just kind of relax?
Kavintha: Because I’ve known Shabana for so long, it felt like talking to a friend. The whole film felt like that. Leela actually ended up using a lot of our conversations that we were having in the interim, in the film. It didn’t feel different to the rest of the film because it was just us hanging out with each other and talking about things we probably talk about anyways.
Shabana: We shot it two-and-a-half days. I’d just booked The Pitt, so we had to do it fast. We ended up shooting all the outdoor stuff on a Saturday night when it was really busy and with a lot of noise issues. It was actually a very intense shoot in that we had a lot to get done, but the chemistry was relaxed. The relationship felt relaxed, but I was also very aware of how much Suriyna and Leela were pulling together so, so fast.
That was always their intention, but it would have been great to shoot outside on a Tuesday night, not a Saturday night. It was logistical stresses, but like stress in the right place, almost. This relationship and the chemistry, hopefully, come across as not stressful.
I did say yesterday at the panel that one time I went in to kiss Kavintha and she burst into laughter. That’s never happened to me before, so that was a personal low (laughs).
The film has a balance of the really heavy topic of internalized racism, but then there’s also a very charming meet cute between the two main characters, with a very charming little date that happens after that. In each of your roles, how important was the balance of those two very different dynamics?
Leela: I actually wrote it more as a full comedy to start with, and then ended up deciding to direct it in a more dramatic way than I typically would. I always think that, especially when you’re exploring a topic that’s potentially confronting to people or a conversation starter to people, I like to do it in a way that’s not taking itself too seriously.
I think that’s a way to make these conversations more approachable, which was really important for this project. It’s something Suriyna always talked to me about too. What she likes about my voice as a director is the balance, I think, between light and dark. I’m cursed to make wholesome content no matter what I do, it just is wholesome. I guess I’ll blame my parents, they’re really wholesome.
Kavintha: My character is very different to me. I’d had these conversations before, but the first time it was in a romantic sense. As a person who is different from my character, I viewed my character as very tolerant, very understanding, and very patient. I know I would have reacted very differently in that situation because the experiences are intense and emotional.
I think Leela handled it in a really good way with how she wrote those characters because it could have just gone in such a different direction, where no one would have gotten anything out of it. The way you wrote was really beautiful, because neither of the characters got offended at each other or angry at each other because they were both going through the exact same thing. It was almost like having a conversation in the mirror.
Shabana: Because we look exactly the same.
Kavintha: Exactly the same. Can we tell the story? Both Shabana and I have gotten mistaken for Leela at different points. The first one was at the short screening. You tell it, Shabana.
Shabana: We were sitting in a line, all three of us, and the person running the panel came up to us and she said, Leela! We all turned around, she looked at me, and she went, here, and gave me a bunch of stuff. Then I was like, oh, this is Leela, but whatever.
Kavintha: And then the other woman running the panel came up to me and gave me a hug. I was like, oh, this is great. I never just randomly get such a warm welcome just for me and I felt so good. She was like, Leela, and I was like oh, no, no (laughs).
So no, looking in the mirror as in because our experiences are so similar, it’s like this mutual understanding and there’s really no room for offense between the two characters.
Shabana: We had this really interesting experience where a white woman came up to us after the screening and was like, I really related to a lot of what you were saying, even though I obviously don’t have any of those race elements to my experience of the world and how people perceive me.
I really do feel like a lot of us walk around not really liking ourselves very much and not really realizing how much the way we feel about ourselves shapes how we feel about other people. A lot of dating preferences are also about asking who am I and what are the gaps in my life that someone could help with.
The film also explores complicated things. Yes, it’s internalized racism, but it’s also white proximity as power. So, it’s like, what do you do with all these things? It’s really complex. A lot of us don’t like ourselves very much, but liking other people at the same time, feeling nervous on a date, like I’m going to embarrass myself, but I’m also really into the other person, and all those things.
Those shades of light and darkness exist within us all the time, especially on a first date, which is the worst, or the worst and the best of the best, right? I think it didn’t feel like even a choice necessarily was made. It just feels like that light and shade are the experience for everyone generally. Or maybe I’m weird on dates, but I think that’s normal.
Suriyna: I think this is the reason it’s kind of like it’s been quite a poignant story, because we’ve all had a terrible date, especially online dating. I love how we all say, oh, no, we don’t do online dating, but we all do it.
Everyone has weird preferences, and I think that’s why the film resonates, especially in this time where we’re all so vulnerable, because we have to put everything out there. There’s a lot of people misinterpreting that, and having someone connect with the light and shade is so important. Those moments feel so rare right now because we’re assaulted with that stuff all the time.
My last question for you guys, speaking of dating, what is the worst way to ask someone out on a date? You can’t use what happens in the film.
Leela: I mean, I love to ask people out (laughs) Oh! Don’t ask them out at work. That’s a lesson I learned. It didn’t go that badly, but it’s probably not very considerate to ask somebody out when they’re at a place of work, which actually is in the film as well.
Kavintha: Probably if you’re really close friends and then they’re like, we should get lunch and then the other person’s like, yeah, let’s do it. Then it turns out you’re on a date and you didn’t intend to be on a date with that person? That’s probably the worst.
Shabana: Yes, I once had a guy make it seem like we were going on a group hang and then I got there and he was like, you look so beautiful. I was like, ah (grimaces). That was pretty bad. He was six months younger than me, so the whole night I just like called him kid a lot. I think that it was okay. We managed it, but it wasn’t good.
Suriyna: I can’t think of any right now. I have many stories, but none that I can think of now (laughs).
Leela: Can I also just embarrass Shabana by saying it’s her birthday today? (laughs) Also, I do just want to say that a lot of the stuff we’ve been talking about in the film is also about the warmth, the complexity, and the safety that you find in other people of color. I don’t know why I’m saying this, but I don’t know, I guess it’s just everyone at this table has been healing in a way through this film.
Anyway, should we also sing happy birthday?
Shabana: (laughs) No, no, no
