A Real Pain Hits Close to Home

For people who feel their emotions in big ways, grief is all-consuming. A feeling so deep can become blinding, making it hard to see that there are people around us also trying to navigate grief. It can make us selfish in that way. However, underneath the pain, there is still a caring person. A Real Pain refreshingly explores grief. The film is Jesse Eisenberg’s sophomore directorial effort; it deepens his prowess as a filmmaker but also delivers one of the most poignant films of the year.

The story follows two estranged cousins, Benji (played by Kieran Culkin) and David (played by Eisenberg), who reluctantly reunite to travel to Poland after the recent passing of their grandmother. Benji, restless and often explosive with his emotions, carries his grief heavily. He feels the weight of loss intensely. His outbursts and emotional openness reflect the depth of his connection to their grandmother and the lingering sense of responsibility he feels toward her memory. In contrast, David keeps his emotions to himself and focuses on moving forward. He is less inclined to dig into the past, viewing this trip as an obligation rather than an opportunity to look within. 

As they join a small tour group of strangers in Poland, Benji and David begin to clash during the experience. The cousins find themselves revisiting wounds that were buried. Benji feels abandoned by a cousin he once admired, and David quietly questions Benji’s lack of restraint.

Eisenberg’s growth as a writer and director shines through in A Real Pain. Grounded in his experiences, Eisenberg wrote and directed a deeply personal and moving film about grief. It doesn’t tackle grief in a black-and-white, straightforward way. A Real Pain depicts all of the nuances that come with grief and generational trauma. A Real Pain marks growth in the way Eisenberg tells the story, a step up from his 2022 directorial debut When You Finish Saving the World. With A Real Pain, he takes a uniquely observant approach to the story and captures authentic human experiences. Most of the film has been shot on location, visually, there is a somber beauty. Capturing the peaceful quietness that can be felt throughout Poland. Eisenberg, who based much of the film on his own family’s roots, captures the landscapes with a sense of reverence, adding a layer of authenticity to the story.

Through a character like Benji, Eisenberg tries to make sense of the present while also trying to understand and make peace with the past. Benji’s grief and guilt are deeply intertwined with his closeness to his grandmother. When Benji feels his emotions, they are deeper and bigger than most. When we are introduced to Benji, he is portrayed as someone who is in his world. In those opening moments, it is hard to believe that he cares about his cousin or cares about anyone else outside of himself. Although at times he can become self-centered, Benji cares deeply for the people around him. He feels these big emotions that are almost crippling because he has nowhere to place them sometimes. His care can sometimes also come off as him being too abrasive and confrontational. Yet, in the end, the people around him appreciate his well-meaning. 

He is the complete opposite of his cousin David who tends to blend into the background and implode rather than react explosively like Benji. This is something that David doesn’t necessarily comprehend about Benji and sees it more as a flaw in his character. David copes by pushing forward, creating a contrast that underscores their strained relationship. It is at times hard for Benji to realize that although David isn’t as reactive as he may be, there is still a valid pain inside of him. 

Culkin has a unique ability to make even the most insufferable characters feel vulnerable and relatable. His portrayal of grief is both heartbreaking and oddly charming, as he balances moments of emotional outburst with neurotic humor. In two powerful moments, Culkin gives a raw and emotional performance. It is in these two moments where we understand that Benji’s emotions are not flaws but a reflection of deep empathy.

Opposite him, Eisenberg plays the strait-laced cousin David. Eisenberg portrays David in a constant state of vibration, a feeling of anxiety and worry that seeps through that can be felt by the audience. Both Culkin and Eisenberg have an undeniable chemistry that works. The two are so different and yet complement each other well in A Real Pain. Both actors breathe life into flawed, relatable characters.

The supporting cast, including Will Sharpe, Jennifer Grey, and Daniel Oreskes, adds further depth to the film, creating a rich ensemble that complements the central narrative. Sharpe, in particular, delivers a nuanced performance as the stoic yet well-meaning tour guide, whose facts-first approach to history clashes with Benji’s more emotional response.

Despite the heavy subject matter, A Real Pain strikes a perfect balance with lighthearted, often laugh-out-loud moments. The script never sacrifices its emotional core. Eisenberg understands that behind pain, there can be comedy—a sentiment that makes the film feel grounded. With its mix of humor, heart, and insight, A Real Pain is a standout sophomore effort from Eisenberg.