Aaron Ploof
Owen (Spike Fearn), the main character in Finding Emily, is a nice guy. At least that’s what the film wants you to believe. His quest to find Emily, the woman he met at a dance party, is supposed to be endearing. We’re supposed to side with him and believe he’s well-intentioned. In the film, this may be the case. But in the real world, his romantic obsession would undeniably be out of touch with reality. While Finding Emily has some merit as a film and explores some themes of the incalculability of the heart and romantic love, it loses itself in idealism.
Owen is joined in his romantic escapades by another Emily (Angourie Rice), a student at the University where he works. This Emily is a romantic pessimist, and her main thesis work rests on the idea that romantic attachment is an evolutionary dead end. This aligns with Sigmund Freud’s view that romantic love is a form of madness. Her writing project is to prove that love ultimately leads to self-destruction. Without telling him, Emily chooses Owen as her study subject.
Of course, Emily has a background history that proves her views on love are largely a protective shell. It didn’t go well with her previous boyfriend, Tristan (Timothy Innes). Now she’s closed herself off from ever loving again.
Emily and Owen’s quest finds them hunting down the other Emily from the dance. In an attempt to find her, they paste notices all around campus, send mass emails to the student body, and appear on podcast shows. All through this, Emily pushes Owen to continue onward. She injects bias into her project and manipulates her newfound friend.
Eventually, Owen inevitably gets himself in trouble when the general public discovers his quest. While some people find Owen’s search endearing, the consensus is that he must be desperate or an incel. There is a character in the film, one of the many Emilys (Kat Ronney) who received an e-mail, who goes straight to the Dean of the College (Minnie Driver) to make a case that this is toxic masculinity and that Owen should face consequences. The character is a trope, a satire of a feminist bully who unfairly puts men down. Yet, this Emily is entirely justified in her views. She is a voice of reason.
In reality, a man such as Owen, who obsesses over one individual woman for so long, is most likely unhealthy. Even if he is a “nice” guy, he certainly has some issues to deal with. While the film attempts to hand-wave Owen’s actions by ultimately having him say he’s sorry, there’s just not enough recompense here for his character. He’s framed ultimately as just a love-sick romantic.
Especially now, with the culture of the manosphere and incels, this is a dangerous way to portray a character. Closer viewers may notice that his attempt to find Emily doesn’t turn out the way he expected, but in the end, his actions are framed as noble and sweet. Immature, yes, but unhealthy no.
The film takes the exact narrative route that you would expect a film like this to take. There are no surprises here. The relationship between Emily and Owen as they navigate trying to find the other Emily evolves from friendship into romantic feelings. What will Owen do when he finds out Emily has been manipulating Him? His response isn’t anything new.
The film, however, is original in that it plays down the necessity of grand romantic gestures, instead preaching authenticity between romantic partners. Ultimately, the film’s main thesis is that Love cannot be mapped out scientifically. You cannot understand it through the intellect. And while it may be a holdover from human evolution, it is still vital to life.
But the film takes this philosophy too far and ends up idolizing obsession. Further, it satirizes women who take caution against unhealthy men. While it does explore some interesting ideas and good acting, the script is predictable, and the message is blurred. For a sweet date movie, this may be fun, but it has some inherent issues.
