Jay Rohr
Honey Don’t! provides a strange mystery. This is an expertly shot film propelled along by a top-notch cast. Some segments are snappier than others, yet where the film drags almost feels intentional. When the main story concludes only one question really remains: what was the point of this movie?
On one hand, Honey Don’t! keenly harkens back to the era of noirish detective stories and lesbian pulp fiction. Private investigator Honey O’Donahue (Margaret Qualley) discovers a prospective client recently died in a car accident. Despite zero evidence to the contrary, something doesn’t sit right with this high-heel gumshoe. Trying to figure out why the deceased wanted a rentable sleuth leads her to a bizarre church, and attempting to blow off steam slides her into the arms of a local cop named M.G. Falcone (Aubrey Plaza). As lives fall apart, the threads of this mystery come together.
Most of the opening act involves establishing circumstances and characters. This is when Honey Don’t! shines brightest. Most of the roles come across thanks to smooth dialogue that illustrates their personalities as well their relationships with other people. There’s little in the form of exposition during the beginning. Even the few procedural inquiries are enhanced by things like asides. Not to risk spoilers, but Chris Evans (Knives Out) as the sleazy Reverend Drew Devlin has a great way of trying to steer such a conversation with Honey that says so much about him but also about her, given her nonchalant resistance to his slimy charms and her wonderful, barbed retorts.
Where it all goes is another matter entirely. Once the main players are established, though the stage is set for an interesting neo-noir mystery, the point seems to be there is no mystery. See, from the get-go, there are no clues to follow. What exactly inspires Honey to initially suspect foul play is merely gut instinct. Granted, it ties to certain detective notions Raymond Chandler highlighted in his essay “The Simple Art of Murder,” not to mention his own noir stories. The problem with Honey Don’t! is that the mystery which opens the movie never leads to a solution.
That’s to say no one ever technically solves anything. Rather, a series of plot contrivances result in characters being around when the villain has an inexplicable psychotic episode resulting in a confession. There is no typical denouement where collected clues, oral or otherwise, are assembled like a jigsaw revealing a bigger picture. In fact, numerous threads are resolved simply by the narrative instead of the main characters. Honey O’Donahue almost doesn’t matter.
Perhaps that’s the point. Technically, we never see the private eye ever solve an actual case. Honey Don’t! feels like writers Ethan Coen and Tricia Cooke came up with an interesting story but searching for an uncommon way to resolve the mystery, they developed nothing. Consequently, everything happens to the main characters rather than because of them. It’s only Reverend Devlin and his criminal associates who have any agency, taking actions that move others into place. Honey Don’t! is more their story, while audiences are left following peripheral players.
This is amplified by certain performance choices. Charlie Day (It’s Always Sunny…) and Margaret Qualley (The Substance) have an excellent back and forth. His clueless cop banter highlights her reaction to the male gaze. After all, sexy isn’t a personality trait even though the film is very comfortable sexualizing female characters. That said, the two utilize vocal styles that sometimes feel like they belong in an SNL parody of noir detective stories. These two anachronistic misfits would be interesting characterizations if they represented anything other than anachronisms.
Honey Don’t! wants to blend the past with the present. The implication of a statement is somewhere in there, unless folks like me are just giving Ethan Coen the presumption of depth due to his record as a writer-director. It’s hard to believe if this were someone’s first film anyone would go out of their way to assume the narrative flaws were clever choices rather than poor pacing, loose threads, and bad writing.
Still, none of that is to suggest Honey Don’t! isn’t unwatchable. The mystery may not feature the most satisfying sleuthing, but the story itself is a weird journey through a noirish situation. There’s plenty of amusing dark humor. Quirky characters abound, who are well acted throughout.
Margaret Qualley does an excellent job of carrying a lot of the movie. This isn’t simply because her portrayal of Honey is the main character. It’s more due to her ability to be both breezy and jaded depending on the moment. She shifts between vibes depending on the situation, sometimes implying the latter with effervescent snarky retorts that would fit in noirish classics. Her expressions often say as much as any dialogue.
Chris Evans is marvelous as an oddly charming scumbag preacher with a connection to French criminals. Aubrey Plaza delivers what’s become a stock character for her, the savvy soured individual who seems to revel in being disaffected. Kristen Connolly (The Cabin in the Woods) and Talia Ryder (Never Rarely Sometimes Always) bring some life to their clichéd parts which humanize the roles. Jacnier (Gina Yei) is a standout as a low-level criminal who stumbles into an ever-worsening situation.
Honey Don’t! is a curious throwback to pulp fiction detective noir. Coming in at 89 minutes, the movie never overstays its welcome. By the time it’s clear Tricia Cooke and Ethan Coen couldn’t figure out how to expertly wrap everything up, the film is over. Along the way there are plenty of amusing scenes populated by quirky characters. Thankfully, the various performers bring each part to life in satisfying ways.
As far as a deeper meaning, there doesn’t seem to be one. Honey Don’t! may arguably be saying various things about the LGBTQ+ community, especially in relation to noir and detective stories. Yet, it doesn’t have a compelling point other than lesbians exist. While this is a watchable dark comedy, Honey Don’t! has the potential for a better movie.
