Jay Rohr
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is an easy target for sarcastic criticism. This sentimental adaptation of a 1972 children’s book is low-hanging fruit for the cynical to shred. Its hokey qualities make it ripe for mockery, yet their intentionality makes them choices more than mistakes. As such, it feels necessary to divide a critique in two to give it a fair chance. After all, there are general audiences to consider and the targeted viewership this movie was made for.
The central premise involves the Herdmans, the six worst children in a generic small town. They’re the most atrocious kids around, verbally and physically abusing everyone from adults to peers while committing any variety of delinquent shenanigans (smoking, drinking, lowkey arson, etc.). As the town prepares for the seventy-fifth annual Christmas pageant, the curious Herdmans bully their way into all the main roles. While the general populace insists these ne’er-do-wells get tossed out lest they ruin everything, Grace Bradley (Judy Greer), inspired by the true meaning of Christmas, gives them an honest chance to make this the best pageant ever.
This isn’t the first adaptation of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. Author Barbara Robinson turned her book into a play back around 1982. Then ABC adapted the material into a made-for-television movie starring Loretta Swit (M*A*S*H) and a young Fairuza Balk (Return to Oz) in 1983. Elements of both can be seen, or perhaps more accurately felt, in this contemporary variant courtesy of Dallas Jenkins.
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is an unapologetically Christian movie. It centers on a reality where Christmas seems to be the only relevant holiday that time of year. But those turned off by such a focus might keep in mind the central themes are a criticism of the dogmatic observance of the occasion as well as highlighting the hypocrisy of the self-righteous. The way the Herdmans question the Biblical narrative not only offers a chance to explore the meaning of the story but forces characters in the film, perhaps even the audience as well, to more seriously consider how they might not be living up to the lessons it espouses.
As such, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever doesn’t exactly fall into the kind of fundamentalist propaganda other Christian-oriented films favor. This is hardly anything akin to the God is Not Dead franchise, a series of fallacious arguments in the guise of supposedly real-world inspired narratives. Dallas Jenkins hasn’t fired a salvo in the alleged war against Christmas, retaliating against secular humanism. Instead, he offers a family-friendly story aimed at a very specific niche. And what criticisms it has are lobbed more at practitioners of the faith than anyone else.
The consequence is a hokey narrative full of aw-shucks sentimentality. There’s a barrage of contrived opportunities to moralize and make points about human decency. Frankly, it’s hard to imagine anyone other than young children or elderly grandmas thrilling over the story. Yet, there’re occasionally moving moments and laughable jokes.
That’s largely thanks to performances by a decent cast. Beatrice Schneider (The Pradeeps of Pittsburgh) as Imogene Herdman, the leader of this pack of delinquents, plucks a few heartstrings when she reveals why she desires to be a part of the pageant. There’s also a definite sense of a child who grew up too fast, hardened into something jagged by a rocky road. Judy Greer (Jawbreaker) as Grace Bradley is wonderful in the role of an exasperated mother strained by her persistent intent to do the right thing rather than take the easy road back to the status quo. Pete Holmes (Crashing) does a fine job as Bob Bradley, though anyone familiar with the comedian’s talents may feel he’s woefully underutilized. And the same could be said for Judy Greer’s humorous potential.
Striving to stay in a certain lane restricts a great deal of any film’s possibilities. However, it’s painfully obvious that The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is seeking a specific tone. This often feels like shoehorning the narrative into a shape rather than redefining elements for a contemporary era. Furthermore, the plot is obvious. The end certainly isn’t in question since the title essentially gives it all away. That said, at risk of spoilers, there’s a twist how exactly things end up being the best pageant ever.
Director Dallas Jenkins does a solid job of capturing the good and bad of any children’s church show. This movie admirably doesn’t shy away from any of the aspects only parents of the pageant performers would delight in. There’s an authenticity to the conclusive event that lends the film an appealing honesty.
Still, anyone at the end of their rope in The Best Christmas Pageant Ever seems more in need of a warm cup of cocoa than a shot of whiskey. While that’s certainly due to its intended audience, it can get eye rolling for anyone outside a certain sheltered perspective. The film is clearly set in a reality divorced from our own grim timeline which arguably makes it ideal escapism.
Cinematically, there’s nothing to write home about. The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is composed of cozy lighting, forgettable cheery music, and basic shots. Consequently, there are several moments that feel posed instead of natural. That only adds to this well-meaning story feeling out of place in modern times. The Best Christmas Pageant Ever can feel artificial which makes a person question the value of its lessons.
Anyone disinclined to shmaltzy Christmas stories drippy with chicken soup for the soul would do best to steer clear of this movie. However, Christian families looking for kid-friendly narratives that emphasize the values of their faith should give it a chance. While not the best movie ever itself, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is okay for the specific audience it’s aimed at. Its only real sin is Blake Shelton’s shameless cash grab rendition of “Go Tell It on the Mountain” that will undoubtedly be torturing retail employees as in-store music in seasons to come.
